


i tell myself i'm not in love (but one more time is not enough)

by spiritsontheroof



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Boys In Love, Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Public Display of Affection, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:47:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24006847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritsontheroof/pseuds/spiritsontheroof
Summary: "I don't know. Timing was never right." Nick says softly."Maybe now's the right time." Morgan suggests.
Relationships: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes, Nick Stokes & Morgan Brody
Comments: 11
Kudos: 57





	i tell myself i'm not in love (but one more time is not enough)

**Author's Note:**

> i love this show and i love these goofballs.  
> all mistakes are my own.  
> send me requests on tumblr @spiritsontheroof.  
> title is stay a little longer by brothers osborne

“Can I ask you something?” 

Nick looks up from his desk to the doorway and sees Morgan leaning against his doorway. He nods and motions to the chair in front of his desk, going back to the report he was writing. 

“What can I do for you, M?” He asks as she sits down, flipping her hair back over her shoulder. 

Morgan is quiet for a moment, hands wringing in her lap, and then she blurts, “What happened with you and Greg?” 

The question catches Nick off guard, makes him lose his train of thought. He sits his pen down and leans back in his chair, eyeing her for a moment. 

“Why are you asking me? You’re close to Greg.” Nick says, headache already forming at the thought of talking about the most painful breakup he ever went through. 

Morgan leans forward, eyes serious but face distressed. “I’m asking you because I know you’ll tell me the truth about it. You’ll tell me if it was because of cheating or it just didn’t work out or,” she trails off for a second, “or if the job came between you.” 

Nick realizes then that this isn’t about him and Greg. It’s about Morgan and Hodges. She’s not asking to be nosy; she’s asking because she doesn’t want to end up in the same place he and Greg did. 

Nick mulls it over a minute, trying to pinpoint what his and Greg’s downfall truly was. It wasn’t work; he knows that. They both loved their jobs, admired each other’s work ethic, each other’s drive, dedication. Work had never been their problem. 

“You want me to be honest?” He asks and Morgan nods. “It wasn’t work. Greg and I had a lot of problems, together and apart, but work wasn’t one of them.” Nick admits and he feels a pang of hurt in his chest at the thought of his and Greg’s split. 

Morgan looks confused, like she hadn’t thought there could be any other reason. “But... Sara said you two were a dream couple. If it wasn’t this job then... what?” 

Nick looks at her and chews on the inside of his cheek, debating on if this is something he’s comfortable enough with Morgan to talk about. After a minute, he gets up and closes the door to his office, trying to let some of the pressure off his chest with a sigh. 

“Listen, kid. I went through a lot of really screwed up stuff as a result of the job. So did Greg. I got stalked, he got blown up, I got...buried. We both had trauma that we just weren’t addressing, and it started to build up on us.” Nick explains as he walks back to his chair. He sits down and picks up the marble Grissom gave him before he left, rolling it between his fingers. 

“We didn’t make it because we couldn’t open up. More me than him, but still. We let our trauma consume us, make us angry and hard and closed off, and finally, it just blew up in our faces.” Nick looks at her and finds her listening intently, like he’s giving her the secrets to life right now. “But we were young. Just kids, really. It was something I learned from. And once Greg and I got over it, it actually made us closer.” 

Morgan nods and then she gets that look, the one she gets when she wants to say something but she’s afraid it’s wrong. 

“I can see those wheel turnings, Morgan. Go ahead, ask me whatever you’re thinking.” Nick says. He’s already shared more with her than he ever thought he would, might as well let her ask away. 

“Why didn’t you ever give it another shot?” Morgan asks softly and that surprises Nick more than the first question. This one, it’s more personal, she’s asking about him and not asking for her own benefit. The interest seems genuine, she looks saddened by Nick’s tales of despair, and he smiles sadly. 

“I don’t know. The time just never seemed right.” Nick says softly, eyes drifting out the door to his view into the lab, where Greg is standing with his nose down a microscope. He looks so young, looks like he did back when Nick fell in love, when they were just goofy kids with endless ambition and no trauma to hold them back from each other. 

“Maybe now is the right time.” Morgan suggests, breaking up Nick’s reminiscent train of thought. Nick looks over at her and he smiles. 

“Maybe it is.” Nick agrees and Morgan smiles back, standing up and walking around his desk. She leans down and wraps her arms around him in a hug. Nick’s shocked at the action but he hugs her back. He wishes the best for her, she’s such a sweet kid, and she reminds him of himself when he was young. She’s smart and ambitious, she’s passionate, willing to risk it all for her job. 

“Thanks, Nick.” Morgan says as she lets him go and turns to leave. 

“Hey, M.” Nick says and when she turns to look, he tells her something he really believes. 

“You and Hodges, you’re not me and Greg. We gave up on each other. You two? Not a quitting bone in your bodies.” 

She ducks her head and smiles like she’s been caught, but she nods and then she’s gone, door closing slowly as she drifts down the hall to the trace lab. He watches her until she’s out of sight, and he finds his eyes drifting to the DNA lab. Greg is still there, still working, and Nick can’t help but stare. Maybe now is the right time, maybe he and Greg could try again. They’re older now, men rather than boys, maybe they could be together without hurting each other like before. 

They’d started out so well, hot and heavy like you expect. Secret moments in supply closets, dinner after double shifts, late nights spent crawling all over each other in Nick’s bed. It had all been so good, and then Nick got a stalker, and he hated having Greg in his space, hated not having it all to himself and all under his control. Then Greg had his accident and he wouldn’t let Nick touch him, too embarrassed of the scars that marred his back. Then, Nick got taken. Buried. And that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Nick was aggressive, addled with sleep deprivation, PTSD, and Greg decided he couldn’t take it anymore. 

It had hurt when Greg left, in a storm of angry words and tears, Nick standing in the living room, wanting to beg him to stay but not willing to hurt Greg any longer. 

Nick was different now. Traumatized, yeah, but he’d gotten help. He was better. 

Greg lifts his head up from whatever he’s working on and smiles when he catches Nick’s eyes. Nick smiles back, and then he sees Greg walk away from what he’s doing. Greg comes out into the hall and walks towards Nick’s office. He looks happy, in a good mood, and it warms Nick to see. 

“Hey,” Greg says as he opens the door, “case report?” He asks, nodding towards Nick’s desk. 

Nick nods, scribbling his name at the bottom where his signature goes. “Yeah, I’m behind on paperwork. Written so many reports today that my eyes hurt.” He chuckles softly. 

Greg steps over the threshold and steps behind Nick, reading the report over his shoulder. “What were you and Morgan talking about?” Greg asks when he finishes reading, moving from behind Nick to sit on the edge of Nick’s desk. 

Nick puts the report in his drawer, intending to file it later, using the time to decide on whether to be honest or say she just came to chat. Nick’s not a good liar and Greg sees right through him anyway, so he just smiles and shakes his head. 

“Oh, man. She came to ask about you and me.” Nick says and it is a little funny to him, that Morgan thinks she and Hodges could ever be him and Greg. Morgan is too stubborn, to strong willed to let go as easily as Nick did. Even if Hodges wanted to quit on her, she’d never let him go without fighting for it. That’s where Nick went wrong. He didn’t fight for Greg. He just let him walk out without a word, because his brain and his mouth weren’t on the same page, and Greg didn’t wait for Nick to ask him to stay. 

Greg raises his eyebrows, mouth curving into a small smile. “Oh, yeah. What did she wanna know about our star-crossed love affair?” 

Nick laughs and leans back in his chair, twirling his pen in his fingers. “She wanted to know why we broke up. What drove us apart so that she and Hodges don’t end up in the same boat.” He says and shakes his head, biting down on the end of his pen. 

Greg sighs at that but it isn’t sad. It’s more fond exasperation, one that tells Nick it’s a fond memory for Greg, the time they had together. 

“Oh, to be young and in love again. Lab tech and CSI. Tale as old as time.” Greg says and nudges Nick, who smiles around the end of the pen. 

Nick puts his feet up on the desk. “Indeed it is. Though they’re not nearly as cute as we were.” He says, gesturing out the door to the trace lab at the end of the hall, Morgan and Hodges standing awkwardly in the doorway. 

Greg watches them a minute and Nick can see he’s thinking. He’s probably thinking about days when they were like that, Nick hovering in the DNA lab and Greg trying his hardest to play it cool while they made plans for dinner after work. 

“No one will ever be as cute as we were, Nicky.” Greg finally teases and God, Greg hasn’t called him that in _years._

“Morgan said something else that got me thinking,” Nick sits forward, putting his feet back on the floor. 

“What’s that?” Greg raises his eyebrows, crosses his arms across his chest. 

Nick shrugs, looking away from Greg. “She asked me why we never gave it another shot.” 

He waits, gauges Greg’s reaction, which isn’t much. Greg stiffens beside him and clears his throat, but doesn’t say anything. Nick keeps going. 

“I told her the timing wasn’t ever right,” He looks up and finds Greg is already looking at him, face serious. It doesn’t suit Greg, being so solemn. Greg should always be smiling, laughing, smirking. His face is suited for smiles and mischief, not hard looks and serious gazes. 

“And she said that maybe the time is right now,” Nick finally says, letting out a breath he’d been holding the whole time he’d been recounting their conversation. It’s rough territory, thin ice. He doesn’t know what Greg is thinking, can’t read the look in his eyes, and it makes Nick’s stomach turn. Greg isn’t looking at him anymore, he’s looking down at his shoes. Black converse, same shoes he’s been wearing since he was a lab rat with crazy hair and ugly graphic t-shirts. It’s one thing about Greg that never changed. Nick likes them, reminds him of when Greg was a rebel child and Nick was an eager-to-please boy scout. 

“And what do you think about that, Nick?” 

“I think maybe she’s right.” Nick admits, biting on the inside of his lip as he looked up at Greg. 

Greg smiles softly and meets Nick’s eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, maybe she is.” 

Nick busts into a grin, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Hey, uh... you wanna get breakfast when shift is over? Like we used to?” 

Greg pushes off the desk and nods. “It’s a date,” he smirks as he backs towards the door, turning his back on the other side. 

Nick makes a mental note to buy Morgan breakfast one day next week. 

\-- 

They meet at the diner, early morning sun shining through the window in their eyes as they drink coffee that tastes like heaven after a long graveyard shift. 

They laugh so hard Nick’s sides hurt and he almost snorts coffee out of his nose on one occasion, and he’s the happiest he’s been in years. He feels young, alive, and sitting here with Greg, he realizes he never stopped being in love with Greg. Never stopped loving the way he laughs at Nick’s jokes or the way he exaggerates his stories or how he runs his fingers through his hair when he’s tired. Nick’s staring like a lovesick teenager, no doubt, and he can only smile when Greg calls him on it. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Greg says as he lifts his coffee mug up to his lips, red flush painting his cheeks. 

“Because I... it just feels good to do this with you again, you know? I feel I used to, before everything got shot to hell between us.” Nick says honestly, unafraid of vulnerability when it comes to Greg. 

Greg leans back in the booth and smiles at him. The sunlight catches his eyes just right and they look like honey, glittering at Nick. “Yeah, it does feel good. I’m glad you asked. Only took you, like, seven years to figure it out.” 

“Figure what out, G?” 

“That I still wanted to do this with you. I wanted to get breakfast and sneak around in supply closets and almost be late for work because we didn’t want to get out of bed. I never stopped wanting to do this, Nick.” Greg says and leans forward, reaching out to lay his hand over Nick’s where it rests on the table. 

Nick gives him a soft look and scratches at his beard, sighing. “I’m sorry. I just thought, y’know, that last night together was so bad. Screamin’ and fightin’ and carryin’ on. I said some really awful things, and I just thought this was a fence I’d never be able to mend.” 

Greg smiles gently and strokes Nick’s scarred knuckles with his thumb. “Well, looks like we’ll just have to mend it now and make up for lost time later.” 

Nick nods and he feels light for the rest of breakfast. 

\-- 

The server brings their check sometime after 10 am, and Greg realizes they’ve stayed for almost three hours, just talking. Nick covers the bill despite all Greg’s protests, telling him he can get the next one, to which Greg replies, “Deal.” 

Nick walks Greg to his car, standing awkwardly by the driver’s side door. Greg rolls his eyes and grabs Nick by the front of his t-shirt so they’re standing chest to chest and Nick’s breath catches in his chest. 

“Thanks for breakfast,” Greg mumbles with a smile, eyes on Nick’s mouth. 

“My pleasure, darlin’.” Nick drawls, sweet and honey-smooth in that way that makes Greg shiver. He's a sucker for that accent, warm and sleep and deep. 

Greg bites his lip, internally debating for just a second before he decides he’s done wishing and he’s going to be that same fearless person he was all those years ago with Nick. He slides his hands up Nick’s chest to his shoulders and then puts his arms around Nick’s neck, pulling him into a sweet kiss. 

Greg feels Nick melt into it, making a content noise in his throat and resting his hands on Greg’s hips. It's not an urgent kiss, just lazy movement of lips between people with all the time in the world. Greg ends up pressed against the car door with Nick’s hands under his shirt, hands cool against the skin of his hips. 

When they pull apart, Nick steps away and Greg straightens himself out, more than a little flustered. 

“Same time tomorrow?” Greg asks and Nick nods, turning around to walk to his own car. He stops halfway and turns around. 

“Hey, Greg!” Nick calls and Greg turns around, walking over to the middle of the lot when Nick beckons him. He’s pulled into a much dirtier kiss than the one they just shared, leaving his legs like jelly as Nick slides his hands through Greg’s hair. 

“Come back to my place.” Nick says when they pull away, words a whisper against Greg’s lips. Greg nods, doesn’t think twice as he lets go of Nick and starts to walk back to his car. 

“Race you?” Greg says and Nick grins wide. 

“You’re on.” 

\-- 

Nick wins, and his reward is the best sleep he’s had in years, curled up in the dark with Greg snoring softly next to him. 

He definitely owes Morgan. 


End file.
